Flory Schulman

Written by Flory Schulman

Published: 22 Oct 2025

30-facts-about-lavender-marriages
Source: Theknot.com

What are lavender marriages? Lavender marriages are unions between a man and a woman, often in Hollywood's golden age, where at least one partner is gay or lesbian. These marriages were primarily for maintaining public appearances and avoiding scandal. Why were they necessary? During times when being openly gay could ruin careers or lead to social ostracism, these marriages provided a cover. Who were involved? Many famous actors, actresses, and public figures entered into these arrangements. How did they work? Couples would live together, attend events, and present a united front, all while maintaining their private lives discreetly. Are they still relevant? While society has become more accepting, some still feel the need for such arrangements.

Table of Contents

What are Lavender Marriages?

Lavender marriages refer to unions between a man and a woman, often celebrities, where one or both partners are homosexual. These marriages were primarily arranged to conceal the true sexual orientation of the individuals involved due to societal pressures and career concerns.

  1. Origin of the Term: The term "lavender marriage" originated in the early 20th century. Lavender, a color associated with the LGBTQ+ community, symbolized the hidden nature of these relationships.

  2. Hollywood's Golden Age: During Hollywood's Golden Age, lavender marriages were common. Studios often orchestrated these unions to protect the public image of their stars.

  3. Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates: One of the most famous lavender marriages involved actor Rock Hudson and his secretary Phyllis Gates. Hudson, a leading man in Hollywood, married Gates to quell rumors about his sexuality.

  4. Rudolph Valentino: Silent film star Rudolph Valentino was rumored to have been involved in a lavender marriage with actress Jean Acker. Their marriage lasted only a few hours before Acker locked Valentino out of their hotel room.

  5. Cole Porter and Linda Lee Thomas: Composer Cole Porter married socialite Linda Lee Thomas. Despite Porter's homosexuality, their marriage lasted 34 years, providing mutual companionship and social cover.

Why Did People Enter Lavender Marriages?

Lavender marriages were often seen as a necessity for individuals who wanted to maintain their careers and social standing while concealing their true sexual orientation.

  1. Career Protection: Many actors and actresses entered lavender marriages to protect their careers. Public knowledge of their homosexuality could have led to a loss of roles and public support.

  2. Social Acceptance: In the early to mid-20th century, homosexuality was widely stigmatized. Lavender marriages provided a socially acceptable facade.

  3. Family Pressure: Some individuals entered lavender marriages due to pressure from their families, who were often unaware or in denial about their true sexual orientation.

  4. Legal Issues: Homosexuality was illegal in many places during the time lavender marriages were most common. These marriages provided a legal cover.

  5. Mutual Benefit: Often, both parties in a lavender marriage benefited. For example, a gay man and a lesbian might marry to provide each other with social cover.

Famous Examples of Lavender Marriages

Several high-profile lavender marriages have been documented, particularly among Hollywood celebrities and influential figures.

  1. Judy Garland and Vincente Minnelli: Judy Garland married director Vincente Minnelli, who was rumored to be bisexual. Their marriage produced one child, Liza Minnelli.

  2. Cary Grant and Randolph Scott: While not officially married, Cary Grant and Randolph Scott lived together for years, leading to speculation about their relationship. Both men had multiple marriages to women.

  3. Greta Garbo and John Gilbert: Greta Garbo, known for her reclusive nature, was rumored to have had a lavender marriage with actor John Gilbert. Their relationship was reportedly more of a deep friendship.

  4. Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor: Barbara Stanwyck and Robert Taylor's marriage was often cited as a lavender marriage. Both were rumored to have had same-sex relationships.

  5. Anthony Perkins and Berry Berenson: Actor Anthony Perkins, known for his role in "Psycho," married Berry Berenson. Perkins was known to have had relationships with men before his marriage.

The Impact of Lavender Marriages on LGBTQ+ History

Lavender marriages played a significant role in the history of the LGBTQ+ community, reflecting the societal pressures and challenges faced by individuals.

  1. Visibility and Invisibility: Lavender marriages highlighted the visibility of LGBTQ+ individuals in society while simultaneously rendering their true identities invisible.

  2. Cultural Reflection: These marriages reflected the cultural and societal norms of their times, showcasing the lengths to which individuals went to conform.

  3. Legal and Social Change: The existence of lavender marriages underscores the progress made in LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance over the decades.

  4. Personal Sacrifice: Many individuals in lavender marriages sacrificed personal happiness for public acceptance and career security.

  5. Historical Documentation: Documenting lavender marriages provides valuable insight into the lives of LGBTQ+ individuals in history.

Modern Perspectives on Lavender Marriages

While less common today, lavender marriages still occur, reflecting ongoing societal pressures and the complexities of sexual orientation and identity.

  1. Changing Attitudes: Modern society has become more accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals, reducing the need for lavender marriages.

  2. Legal Protections: Legal protections for LGBTQ+ individuals have increased, making it easier for people to live openly.

  3. Celebrity Influence: Celebrities coming out has helped reduce the stigma around homosexuality, making lavender marriages less necessary.

  4. Media Representation: Positive media representation of LGBTQ+ individuals has contributed to greater acceptance and understanding.

  5. Personal Freedom: Individuals today have more freedom to express their true identities without fear of severe repercussions.

The Future of Lavender Marriages

As society continues to evolve, the concept of lavender marriages may become a relic of the past, but understanding their history remains important.

  1. Education and Awareness: Educating people about the history of lavender marriages can foster greater understanding and empathy.

  2. Ongoing Challenges: Despite progress, some individuals still face pressures that might lead them to consider a lavender marriage.

  3. Global Perspectives: In some parts of the world, lavender marriages may still be necessary due to cultural and legal restrictions on homosexuality.

  4. Support Systems: Increased support systems for LGBTQ+ individuals can help reduce the need for lavender marriages.

  5. Historical Significance: Recognizing the historical significance of lavender marriages helps honor the struggles and resilience of LGBTQ+ individuals throughout history.

The Last Word on Lavender Marriages

Lavender marriages were a clever way for LGBTQ individuals to navigate a society that wasn't ready to accept them. These unions provided a cover, allowing people to live their truths without facing harsh societal backlash. While not always rooted in romance, they were often built on mutual respect and understanding.

Today, the need for such arrangements has lessened in many parts of the world due to growing acceptance and legal protections for LGBTQ rights. However, the history of lavender marriages remains a testament to the resilience and ingenuity of those who sought to live authentically despite societal constraints.

Understanding this part of history helps us appreciate the progress made and recognize the ongoing struggles for equality. It’s a reminder that love and identity have always found ways to flourish, even in the most challenging circumstances.

Was this page helpful?

Our commitment to delivering trustworthy and engaging content is at the heart of what we do. Each fact on our site is contributed by real users like you, bringing a wealth of diverse insights and information. To ensure the highest standards of accuracy and reliability, our dedicated editors meticulously review each submission. This process guarantees that the facts we share are not only fascinating but also credible. Trust in our commitment to quality and authenticity as you explore and learn with us.